The Songfic of Life...
by Alan Smithee
Summary: Ever have reflection make storylines for you? Said reflection turned this into a form of prequel to "Allegory 2000." R/R/LOVE.


It was a typical November day at Balamb Garden. Everything was normal; Irvine trying to mack, Selphie trying to stop him from doing so, Squall trying to look cool, Zell just standing around by himself...Okay, so something was abnormal. Let's just check this out, shall we?  
  
"Come on, man! Lay it on us! We see you doing your best Squall impersonation all the time! Where's the fast living, bad-ass, forces down more cylinder-shaped meat products than Selphie during Fleet Week Zell Dincht we all know and love?" Irvine asked.  
"Come on, you don't want to know about this..." Zell said.  
"Try me."   
"Come on. Everyone needs to have their secrets..."  
"Ah, I see. Maybe I should just set up an appointment with Kadowaki to see what's up..."  
"Yes, or maybe you should SUCK MY BALLS, okay? I don't want to talk!" Zell ran off.  
  
"Listen, Squall?"   
"What do you want, man? Squall asked.  
"I've got this little problem..." Zell said.  
"Why'd you come to me?"   
"Because you're the quietest person I know here, and I figured it would be safest with you."  
"Ah, I see. Shoot."  
"Well, um, you see... I'm doing a Survey for Timber Maniacs. If you liked a girl, what would be your preferred way of telling her?" Zell asked.  
"What? You saw it! Fight like hell against people for her adopted homeland's independence, save her life many times..."  
"DAMMIT!" Zell yelled.  
"Ah, I see. You couldn't do a survey for Timber Maniacs, man! So, who's the lucky lady?"   
"Um, well, uh..."  
"Come on, man! I know everybody here's business. Plus, I'm good with not saying much..."  
"Oh, yeah. Sure. Well, that would be a bit harder, right? How about just a 'code symbol'?" Zell asked.   
"Oh, what?"  
"Something like...this?" Zell proceeded to put his fingers out like a gun and shoot it.  
"Come on, that's Irvine's gig, man..."   
"EXACTLY. Out of my stuff, it'll be easier."  
"Okay, dude."  
  
"So, what's been going on, Zell?" Selphie asked.  
"Absolutely nothing. You?"  
"Usual. So, you need to study for that SeeD level test?"   
"Of course. What about you?"  
"Definitely. I want as much money as possible." The two headed over to the library. Zell walked over to the girl running the front."So, where's the stuff for a level 15 SeeD test?"   
"In back, near the computers." The girl quickly checked on another customer.  
"So, Selphie, what's been going on between you and..."Zell quickly flashed a "gun sign" in the library girl's direction. "Irvine recently?"  
"You know. Completely like before. Well, I'd better get to cracking on these books..." Selphie quickly left towards the dormitories while Zell headed for a computer.   
"Selphie! What's up?" Squall asked.  
"As our dear friend Watts would say, 'Gathering Information is my specialty, sir!'" Selphie replied.  
"So, I take it you found out the info? Who is it?" Squall asked.  
"You know that chick from the library? The one with that really long ponytail?"   
"Ah, I see. So that's the little vixen who our little powerhouse is to taken with, is it?" Squall replied.  
"I guess so."   
"You did good. Here's the ticket I promised you. Have some fun."  
"YIPPIE!" Selphie ran out of the dorms. Zell headed towards his own.  
"'Sup, Squall?"   
"Dude. You know what gets the ladies? Poetry. Wimps get all the honeys. Look at Irvine!"   
"What are you trying to imply here?"  
"I have my...sources who claim you flashed the signal to that chicky in the library at about, um, 7:20 p.m. this afternoon."  
"DAMMIT! What the hell did you pay Selphie for this deal?"  
"Nothing..." Zell started to call for "My Final Heaven" when Squall replied "A Train Ticket to wherever she wanted!"  
"I knew it. Once you promise riding something really long into the mix, you've got Selphie right where you want her."   
"Dude, I told you. Poetry. I mean, we know she likes to read..."  
"Okay, man."   
  
"Okay. Now, to sneak past all of those guards..." Zell put in a copy of the "Mission:Impossible Theme." "Perfect. Now to head into the network..." Zell looked into a database...."Got it..." Suddenly, "Now I know why you want to hate me...CAUSE HATE...IS ALL THE WORLD HAS EVEN SEEN LATELY!" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" "DAMMIT! WHY'D I HAVE TO BRING THIS PIECE OF SHIT REMAKE?" "Back to your dorm. Now."  
  
"I'm hooked up, Squall." Zell replied.  
"Excellent, man. How'll you get it to her?"  
"That's what SeeD training is for." Zell proceeded to head off for the library.  
"Perfect. Now, to head silently...." "What are you doing here?" a girl asked.  
"Um, do you think that you could put this into, um, that locker there? Don't say who I am, of course..." Zell replied.  
"I don't know who you are. How could I? Eh..." the girl slipped it into the locker.  
"Thanks. You the wo-man!" Zell headed off.  
  
  
"Hmmm. Time to start work..." The library girl opened up her locker. "What's this?" She read through the piece:  
  
"Its undeniable...that we should be together...  
Its unbelievable how I used to say that I found in her...  
The places you need to know, if you don't know just how I feel,  
Then let me show you now that I'm for real...  
If all things in time, time will reveal...  
Yeah...  
  
One...your like a dream come true...  
Two... jus wanna be with you...  
Three... girl its plain to see...that your the only one for me...  
Four...repeat steps one to three...  
Five... make you fall in love with me...  
If ever I believe our work is done....then I start Back at One.(yeah)  
  
So Incrediable...the way things work themselves out...  
And all emotional, once you know that its all about babe...  
And undesirable...for us to be apart...  
Never would of made it very far...  
Cause you know that you got the keys to my heart  
Cause...  
  
One...your like a dream come true  
Two... jus wanna be with you  
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me  
Four...repeat steps one to three  
Five... make you fall in love with me  
If ever I believe our work is done....then I start Back at One......  
  
Say farewell to the dark night...I see the coming of the sun...  
I feel like a little child..whose life has jus begun...  
You came and reached into the light,  
Into this lonely heart of mine...  
You threw out the life line...just in the Nick of Tiimmmeeee.....  
  
One...your like a dream come true  
Two... jus wanna be with you  
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me..girl and...  
Four...repeat steps one to three  
Five... make you fall in love with me  
If ever I believe our work is done....then I start Back at One."   
  
"What is this? Who'd send it to me?" the girl asked.  
  
A few weeks later,   
  
"Dude! It's set! Football game! Cadets vs. SeeDs!" Squall replied.  
"You know it! Can you say...'TOTAL DESTRUCTION'?" Zell asked.  
"TOTAL DESTRUCTION!" Seifer yelled out.  
"Dude, what the hell?"  
"Ah, pathetic SeeDs. Laughing as you prepare to die. It's cute, really..." Seifer gloated.  
"Oh, yeah, sure. We're the best of the best. You're just close. Close isn't good enough." Zell replied.  
"Oh, really? Maybe you should get some cheerleaders, so we can make it easier! Tear holes into your defense, then tear holes into their..."   
"Come on! Why need cheerleaders?"  
"Well, the library girls are open that day. Maybe Zell can get them some good cheers."  
"Oh, yeah, sure! Like that's a possibility! Why would I do something..."  
"Give it up, G! You sent Brian McKnight lyrics to that chick in the library! People didn't know who, but I found out!"  
"Oh, yeah? Who'd give you that false stuff?" Zell's eyes looked towards Squall's newer-looking bomber jacket and leather pants. "DAMN YOU, SQUALL!"  
"So you admit it?" Seifer asks.  
"Yes. All right? I did a porno movie back in the day! I needed some serious gil!" Zell asked.  
"I will HAVE to tell that."  
"Oh, that's not it. But it's as ludicrous as claiming I would do that!"  
"Yeah. Right. Only the Chicken Wuss could make a move like using second-hand poetry." Seifer left laughing his ass off.  
"DAMMIT."  
"It's no big deal."  
"No big deal? He could spill! If we lose, he'll spill to her! If we win, he'll spill to her! Just for kicks, he'll spill to her! He's the last person I'd want to know right about now!"  
"Don't worry. I spread a rumor to her."  
"Rumor?"  
"Well, you know. I just told her you're gay..." Zell proceeded to arm up. "SAY...YOU'RE...JOKING...OR..I...WILL...END...YOU..."  
"Relax. I knew he'd try to as soon as I told him, so I stalled a little bit while I told the girl that Seifer's got a beef with you about a card game and is trying to spread lies about you throughout the school..."  
"You are the lowest, man." Zell replied.  
"You know it..." Squall said.  



End file.
